September 24, 2014

This Year’s Free Agency: Supermarket Sweep?

Could this year's free agency rival the 90s game show?

Most of you are probably too manly to remember the 1990s game show Supermarket Sweep. Sadly, I’m not. The show’s final challenge ended with three teams making a mad dash through a supermarket to spend as much money as possible. Whoever spent the most, won. It was kind of like Daniel Snyder’s reign as owner of the Washington Redskins, except like I said, there was actual winning. And it was pretty compelling television if you didn’t mind hemorrhaging testosterone for 30 minutes each episode. And sadly, I didn’t.

Anyway, this is all somewhat relevant because one NFL executive thinks this year’s free agency period – which will be significantly shortened thanks to the NFL lockout – could be somewhat like that game show. SI.com’s Don Banks paints a picture of impatient owners and general managers making it rain like our old buddy Pac Man after too many months of sitting on their wallets while the labor agreement was worked out.

As Bengals fans, we all know Mike Brown won’t do that. In fact, most of us would be happy just to keep our own important players, guys like  Johnathan Joseph, Cedric Benson, maybe Jon Fanene or Brandon Johnson, and my man crush, Brian Leonard.

But it might be fun to watch some other owners circling free agency like those old ladies on Supermarket Sweep, shoveling diapers and oversized tubs of coffee into their carts while their husbands pretended to know what was actually expensive in a store.

The original show is long gone, but this year’s version might be even more fun. So go ahead uber-rich NFL owners.

Make. It. Rain.

I’ll be watching.

Click the image to read the entire Don Banks article