July 26, 2017

Flacco Awesome…or Defense Terrible?

Everyone is saying ‘Don’t panic…it’s only Week 1.’  ‘Don’t worry…they’ll get better.’  ‘It was only the first game.’  Well you know what, I am panicking.  I am worrying.  And I don’t care if it’s Week 1 or 17, if the Bengals are serious about ‘DNO’ (Destination New Orleans) then the defense has to get serious about ‘GYP’ (Gross Yards Passing).

So what is it?  Is Joe Flacco the new Dan Marino, or is our secondary going to be the Green Bay secondary of last year that averaged 299.8 yards passing per game.  Ours was 329 on Wednesday night.  Flacco went 21/29 with 299 yards and 2 touchdowns.  With numbers like that, I’d want that purple, raven-wearing, fu-manchu-sporting dude on my team.  Unfortunately, my heart has already been stolen by a red-head with a death wish.  I’m all about Dalton playing for every yard but please don’t get yourself killed in week 1 by diving head first into a pile of purple jerseys that want to rip your… nevermind, I’ll talk about him another time.

Come on secondary!!! Get healthy!  Kirkpatrick is out.  Jones didn’t practice.  Allen went light.  Iloka went light.  What does it matter how many first rounders we have in the secondary if they’re not on field?  We’ve all been worried about what Hall was going to look like when he came back.  Well now we know.  Slow and sloppy.  He lost steps and he missed cuts.  A month or so ago everyone was okay with the idea of him taking it slow when coming back but that time is over.  Injury or no, he needs to step it up.  Clements…I love you dude…but you look old.  Either shit or get off the pot.  I love Mays’ high energy and drive but it doesn’t matter if that energy is used wildly and unharnessed.  You’re not doing anyone any favors by jumping around, misdirected, into people’s heads.

From what Zimmer has said in interviews it sounds like he’s not worried and knows they can do better.  I guarantee that he’s just saying that for the media to sound calm in collected.  I’d bet anything that he’s in that locker room and on the practice field chewing the a**es out of the defense.  That was not the top 10 defense from last season and I promise that he’ll settle for nothing less from these guys.

So what’s the verdict?  BOTH.  Flacco made them look like fools because he was the King…the secondary were the Jesters.  I hope it’s different when Weedon brings his traveling minstrels to our Court.


  1. The issue is, what happens if you start 0 – 2? Cleveland’s D looked pretty good on Sunday, except for the “we find a way to lose” last drive. Your down by 4 on MNF to Baltimore in Baltimore with 8 and change to go in the 3rd, and you CRAP the bed! Very disappointing and I had to walk away, lose Sunday and the season to go away. We all know the history of 0 and 2 and the playoffs.